so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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