Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
and she was petting her beer can
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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