I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
