Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
