this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
