I want you more than these girls want KFC
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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