I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
