Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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