He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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