i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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