Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
