found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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