Say something about gay babies.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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