Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
