She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
