big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I showed him my bush... on skype.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
