I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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