i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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