last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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