I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
