I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
