Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
