i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
