i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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