What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
