So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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