"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
