wanna go halves on a baby?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
