halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
