yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
