So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
