i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
