Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
