New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
