Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
last night I used snow as a chaser
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