fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
