Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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