so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
