Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
do herpes really smell.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
