it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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