my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
