OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
well I can't set my house on fire every night
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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