you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
