whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
