i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
