i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
