What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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