We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
