DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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