i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
