there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
